Dreaded deadlines...

At the beginning of my degree course I was meeting deadlines. I have found this difficult lately due to family circumstances. Could this be looked at as indicating a level of commitment in itself, when faced with other issues in one’s life needing attention, during a course of full time study? By continuing, having the determination to see a project through to the end, no matter what? Realistic planning, revising original plans and timeline, planning in advance, having foreseen a possible problem and taking change or new develepments into account? Dealing with it, problem solving, working out a way around it, still getting the job done ! Life beyond university, in the real world, is inevitably going to throw up plenty of deadlines, it is important to learn to respect them.

A work rant...

Got in yesterday to find out from colleague that prior to my arrival (I was unusually early) a decision had been made to get the new trainee cover supervisor to start covering lessons. Due to staff shortages this was considered a necessity. He would be in lessons with us and the department lesson observations and the remainder of the training programme devised for him by me has come to an abrupt end. Without any previous relevant experience I can't deny I am concerned. I consider it to be unfair after such a short time observing, although he was beginning to take parts of lessons as I had requested teachers to encourage him to do so. Despite voicing my opinion it appears this is considered a necessity by senior management in the face of ‘tough times’. I couldn’t help being reminded of Senge, the reference to change and learning organisations when I heard my colleague making remarks like: “I didn’t get two weeks of training – I only got two days”. I thought 'but does that make it right to continue with the same system of training, is this reason enough to stick to the same method? Why not try to change and improve the training of cover supervisors? We may even end up with some double loop learning (Schon and Argyris) as a result, where they actually end up staying in the role for more than just a few months at a time. Where the whole object of the exercise is not defeated by them taking a lot of time off due to stress compounded by their lack of training !

Latest degree developments... becoming a graduate?

Definitely feeling a marked change in my responses and actions when problems arise in the workplace. I am beginning to delegate more, as the new school term becomes busier, this approach is getting jobs done. Whilst I am carrying out my primary task, ensuring a positive learning environment is maintained, I am able to delegate other important tasks which are generally carried out successfully. Improved personal organisation skills have been a major factor in this development.

I am making my voice heard and also sticking up for my students' voice in places and situations where they cannot. This requires a diplomatic approach when there are human beings involved and when I want to avoid offending or upsetting people. I have learnt that this is sometimes unavoidable in order to 'get the job done'.

I can only think that these developments have come from gradually gaining more confidence due to the tasks I have carried out during my degree.

What will the next one be I wonder...

Latest study 'attempts' - topic reading

When I have been unable to absorb or understand a particular author’s description or explanation, despite re-reading over and over again, I've searched another writer’s work to see how they have explained it. Occasionally this has been fruitful in finding differences and clarity in definitions. Sometimes I begin a search by looking at other related works and research or for a reference cited or mentioned in the first book I have read on my subject/topic.

Having real trouble focussing on study currently.

Demonstrating graduateness...

Thinking about progress and areas where I might demonstrate graduateness.

Less procrastination will help to demonstrate 'graduateness'. Not being afraid or hesitant to enquire or become involved in discussion. I am developing this quality, a long way to go though.
The ability to ignore distractions, be it from friends, including turning down invitations, or from family. During research projects and related study, television and other favourite pastimes all have to take a back seat too !

Ability to organise personal workload and study schedules alongside everyday routines and a busy private life too.

As I've said above, a way to go yet !

Time to get serious...

So...

Essentially I need to stop partying and socialising in any form, stop attending the most important events in my daughters' lives, not have a Christmas this year, stop being so easily distracted and stop giving in to temptation and ignore my husband!

Hmmm... sounds fun !

Further thoughts on last and next modules

Some further thoughts particularly relating to last module...

PC problems were time consuming when time availability was at a premium. These problems contributed to difficulties already experienced by having to re-submit my proposal and await confirmed acceptance.

Conversations regarding conflicting views on paraphrasing and citing original author's quotes correctly, together with the referencing of online communications created considerable confusion.

My feedback suggested that I was making my research more complex than it needed to be. This ties in with a section in my learning journal expressing concern over the use of NLP when in the hands of someone other than an experienced practitioner.

When I discussed this aspect of Neuro Linguistic Programming with a fellow researcher who was also implementing the technique into their work role we agreed that provided a small, subtle change was introduced that any danger was remote.

I plan to simplify my initial approach accordingly with regards to implementation of my inquiry. From my feedback it is clear that by refining my methods and narrowing the research focus even further, I will increase the chances of success by going into more depth without veering off into irrelevant territory! I will need to review my plan before the next semester and read more widely relevant topic literature which is more specifically linked to my own research and the questions I aim to answer.

I am determined to take a bit of a holiday first though ! (Perhaps therein lies the problem!)

tired and lacking self confidence...

Not looking forward to receiving the next mark for Exhibition Preparation. I found this module a particularly difficult and stressful one to complete on a personal level, mainly due to the domestic problems that occurred during its production. Having said this, I noticed some other researchers were expressing their feelings as being similar in terms of the difficulties they had faced in completing the module. So on reflection it would appear that my domestic circumstances merely served to increase my stress levels as these would have been relatively high anyway, despite the events that unfolded.

I am now taking a brief break from study. I am reading relevant 'topic' literature though when the opportunity arises and thinking ahead with regard to any modifications required for my planned action inquiry. This is as a result of the feedback and the data analysis that was carried out in the Exhibition Planning module.

Tiredness however is hampering this process together with a lack of confidence. Strong feelings of self doubt have crept in regarding the completion of my degree.

I am hoping a break from the computer and focussing on reading literature in book and journal form will help restore my confidence.

Is confidence generally an attribute of a graduate? Pondering on this at present. Confidence in one's own subject knowledge surely would be present? Is this no longer having self-doubt and having an inner confidence and more faith in your abilities? Using the word present now has me thinking that being a gratuate can also be to do with the way you are able to present yourself to others. As a result going through the degree process you develop more self-esteem, believing in yourself and that your views are important and deserve to be heard. The following is a statement entered in my learning journal last Thursday. It is followed by a response from a peer:

"I appear to have made a far greater impact and impression than I thought myself !"

"That's good though Lu isn't it, has that raised your confidence?"

My subsequent response to this:

"I still find it hard to accept positive feedback."

I am beginning to feel more logical when faced with problems, whilst trying to be more analytical and less negative.

Time will tell !

Motivation returns !

I do feel I am working with a greater degree of autonomy this year but I am hoping this will not be to the detriment of my submissions.

Data collection has been a major headache and has not gone according to plan, but then that is the nature and the beauty of a flexible research design like Action Inquiry. It is a story that unfolds through events and often uncovers surprises at every turn. Repeating a process of reflection and evaluation on the pilot data process used has illustrated the importance of having a plan B, C and D to draw upon ! I need to cater for all kinds of eventualities during the major project in September.

The transcribing process has taken me a lot longer than envisaged and as a result feel I may have a lot of valuable data that hasn't been uncovered due to time constraints.

The pilot data collection has been an extremely worthwhile exercise, if only serving to indicate the impact and impression I make in the classroom according to those observing me.

Motivation has dwindled of late since husband's hopsitalisation but I'm pleased to say it is gradually returning now...

High hopes !

Just hoping I will collect enough data this week for analysis. This should have taken place earlier but with husband's illness my degree progress has been severely hampered. I will have the end of this week and the next to analyse and collate my findings ready for presenting in a pilot exhibition. My intention is to present this to colleagues involved in the pilot data collection when I return to school after Whitsun.

Testing times for me, considering, in terms of possession of the graduate qualities of commitment, time management and autonomy!

Hold ups, trials and tribulations...

I have experienced problems gathering data as I had originally planned to collect this from secondary school age students in my classes. It now transpires that the use of any primary data collected from school age children is considered unethical by the University and is not allowed under any circumstances. It can still be used as secondary data however, but I have had to spend a great deal of time reconsidering my data collection methods.

For me this typified the kind of unexpected problems that can arise when carrying out a research project. It served to illustrate the importance of considering all eventualities in the planning process and how the flexible, cyclical nature of Action Inquiry (AI) lends itself to the modification of initial plans through its subsequent cycles. AI also requires the researcher to be prepared for situations changing and ensuring other alternatives are in place and ready to be implemented.

The other major problem was not being in cover lessons and instead invigilating in exams, which prevented me from collecting any relevant data.

Also:

• Husband was hospitalised nine days ago which made it extremely difficult to focus on degree work.
  

• My computer is working at snail's pace... making two of us working at the same pace now.
  

Tired... visiting hospital in neighbouring city can be very tiring so I will resume this post at a later date.

Definitely, maybe...

Beginning to identify hard evidence of how I could be developing 'graduateness'. This has been demonstrated in my new post by not 'sitting back'. Particularly in recent correspondence regarding problems, suggesting ways of resolving them and highlighting other possible areas for change. Acknowledging others' contributions, their skills, talents and abilities and recognising the importance of working with them and learning from them.

Hmmm... some little acorns in there... maybe...

Hmmmm... Thoughts on first module of Year 3...

At the end of the last module I was reminded yet again of the need to work on my time management skills ! This was reflected in the standard of the work produced. I was unable to complete the final stitching section satisfactorily and I'm sure my referencing suffered from not having time to carry out thorough proof reading. My IT skills still need some serious updating to enable me to produce a better quality of presentation in my work. I intend to be more adventurous in that area and increasingly brave in future modules. I need to make time in future to include more evidence of online community discussion. Due to time constraints the Review and Planning module did not reflect the amount of online discussion I had participated in. There is always a plethora for me to draw upon and I consider myself to be a reasonably active member of the online community. This will help me to write more about my reflexive thought processes and highlight my developing problem solving skills, together with other developing areas of graduateness.

So major areas to work upon for next module:

• Time Management
• Referencing
• IT and presentation
• Evidence of OLC participation
  

Just waiting for those marks now...

At last a new blog created to record events during the third and final year of my degree... and occasional other nonsense !

I've created this blog specifically to record main events together with the highs and lows of my final year. I am hoping to use it to assist me in those darker moments where I hit mental blocks, of which there will no doubt be many !

Please feel free to comment on the entries, particularly if you have been in similar places during your studies and think you may be able to help !

Catch you later...

Lu